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stuck in a loop where the record skips when you breathe my name you remember I exist every January do they pull your hair like I did? do they life up your fragile little ego they broke? you taught me all the party tricks I use on men taller than you do you whisper in another language to them? all the ways you're going to solve them like a jigsaw puzzle

leaving like my alcoholic mother couldn't take the heat when my dad went under the knife my presence made you so upset you left the party father called me cold because I haven't let anyone touch me since you hoping the doctor pumps enough fluids to make me feel better or I could call you and flatline dreams full of you chasing me up and down the stairs not sleeping again....

My friends don’t know what my favorite color is some would say red cause that's all I see through sometimes some would say blue because I live in a constant state of melancholy some would say purple because I changed my hair so that you wouldn't recognize me because they're too busy looking at me like a patient they need to tie back up from you They don’t really want me around I’m just a girl in a box they watch paint portraits they tear apart