The Microbiology of Us Pt. 1

·Gram Stain

• This test involves a series of stains performed on a microscope slide

• Is used to identify different types of bacteria

• Bacteria is observed under a microscope

• Steps of the gram stain

• Primary dye- crystal violet dye- 30 seconds

  • The Crystal violet of you meeting my eyes across the room

• Rinse with DI water

  • My friends rinse my limerence for you away

• Gram’s iodine dye- 30 seconds

  • The gram’s iodine of late-night texts stains our microscope slides of a relationship

    • _____ Added you as a friend

    • “I miss you”

      • Account not found

        • “I miss you”

• Rinse with DI water

  • The slide rinses the hickeys you left me with but leaves me with worried looks from my friends

• 95% ethanol- 30 seconds

  • The 95% ethanol of you liking our old messages at one in the morning

• Rinse with DI water

  • Rinse the alcoholic taste of your breath off of my body

• Safranin

  • The counterstain of a past lover stains our slide 

• Rinse with DI water

  • Rinse stain off with the DI water of apologetic sex

• Results

  • Gram positive

    • Purple slide

    • Thick cell wall

    • Example

      • Staph. A

        • The Staph A of your hands infects me from wanting others

  • Gram negative

    • Pink slide

      • Thinner cell wall as compared to gram positive bacteria

      • Example

        • E. coli

        • The E.coli of your lips stains the slide pink

        • Staining the lips of others who kiss me